Assalamualaikum..
I have to be frank. Really frank.
Then, when am still an executive, when the rest of early management's team comprise of new faces from external recruitment, or those who are much much younger than me, and when my own buddies are already stepping up the ladder, whilst me are doing still the donkey works, I did miserably questioning my own capability. At times, I hate going out for lunches or just ignored any social gathering for fear of people looking down at me.
Rather than justifying my denied promotions for turning down the offer via transfers, in 2 consecutive years, or my froze promotion due to unpaid leave whatsoever, I chose to keeps mum. For them, if you are good, then there is no excuse. If you are not at it, then you are not suffice.
Every time during prayer, I will have the same du'a repetitively, even when we went for umrah, one of the du'a was to ease my corporate journey, on top of others stuff (seeing my parents again to top it all).
And time passed, for years, still nothing change. Due recognition for performance yes, albeit unjust treatments, Allah still befit it upon me.
At a point, I just stop think about it. Totally live with the flow, and trust in Allah, believe His's rezqi came in many forms, family health and all.
Yes, I was promoted a year ago and also was compensated with bonus and increments, while others are losing their job. I was granted of a transfer to the position of my choice when others have to struggle adapting to their new alien responsibility.
With a supporting husband, smart and healthy kids, a very good support system, a house to live, food to eat, a secured job and extra money for entertainment, I've told Hasif : I have enough of everything Alhamdulillah. I would not ask more, in fact, I don't deserve what have been given as I am not a good servant. Yet.
And when I'm stop asking, and just striving for a self-betterment, everything started to pouring in.
I mean..... EVERYTHING.
Hasif's business is recovering. Imani's recitation of Quran - well its beyond my expectation of her. Harith slowly picking up on his reading (after 2 years of struggling and a visit to PCMC).
And for my job, I got 3 letters in a month again, when at a normal speed, should be achieved in 4 years. 2 promotions letters, 1 assignment letter to a place dreamt by most in my organization, and Alhamdulillah, a very good and supportive new team and superior.
Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.
My take? Do not stop believing in Allah. And trust, His plans are much better than us. Should you wonder what my weapons are, I just try to contained my flip flop of faith by doing these:
1 - 2 rakaat of Sunah Prayer before Subuh
2 - Surah Al Waqiah
And time passed, for years, still nothing change. Due recognition for performance yes, albeit unjust treatments, Allah still befit it upon me.
At a point, I just stop think about it. Totally live with the flow, and trust in Allah, believe His's rezqi came in many forms, family health and all.
Yes, I was promoted a year ago and also was compensated with bonus and increments, while others are losing their job. I was granted of a transfer to the position of my choice when others have to struggle adapting to their new alien responsibility.
With a supporting husband, smart and healthy kids, a very good support system, a house to live, food to eat, a secured job and extra money for entertainment, I've told Hasif : I have enough of everything Alhamdulillah. I would not ask more, in fact, I don't deserve what have been given as I am not a good servant. Yet.
And when I'm stop asking, and just striving for a self-betterment, everything started to pouring in.
I mean..... EVERYTHING.
Hasif's business is recovering. Imani's recitation of Quran - well its beyond my expectation of her. Harith slowly picking up on his reading (after 2 years of struggling and a visit to PCMC).
And for my job, I got 3 letters in a month again, when at a normal speed, should be achieved in 4 years. 2 promotions letters, 1 assignment letter to a place dreamt by most in my organization, and Alhamdulillah, a very good and supportive new team and superior.
Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.
My take? Do not stop believing in Allah. And trust, His plans are much better than us. Should you wonder what my weapons are, I just try to contained my flip flop of faith by doing these:
1 - 2 rakaat of Sunah Prayer before Subuh
2 - Surah Al Waqiah
3 - Al Mathurat
4 - Dhuha
My journey are still uncertain. But for once, am confident whatever happened, for a reason. Cry if you must, but don't give up.
Please pray for my strong will to continuously obey and be a better servant to Allah.
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