The Soft Sides of These Two (I-Dun-Care) People

Assalamualaikum..

Comparing between my 3 kids, Imani - is an observer. She will analyze her situation well (and complicate 😒), ensure everything is in order, and evidence with action rather than words. She dont mind sitting at the back, or be the last one in que, so long it will put her out of danger or any complicated situation. Being an only child for 4 years, she was sometimes quiet full of herself. The very good quality of her, being an observer, is the thinker mind. Listening to her words or trail of tots, sometimes (still is) scared me off. She is too mature for the average. And its very difficult to know her mood. Well kept and hidden for herself >>> this is sooooo Hasif.

Whilst Harith - in comparison is the open book guy. Always the one with romantic words, who will waits for the rest to gather before starting for any activities, the one who will ensure everyone eaten and will reserve a plate or a dish shall someone is missing. Always have that 'think-for-others' attitude. Easy to read - happy-sad-or angry >>> i hope he got this from me. Tsk tsk.

Hanif - huhuhu - this one fella, we are still erm... trying and error what best to handle him. Very independent, brave and knows how to use his best quality to get what he want. And most than not, people will succumb to his plan >>> we are still trying to digest where he got this attitude from *rolling eyes*. 

And last week, I found this cutie drawing in Imani's room:

This simple drawing really made me proud. Look on the detailing of the eye. And put aside the wrong spelling (huh), my focus was on her writing. So innocent and straight forward. Good she understand what we have been trying to instill in her mind all this while.

To add on, I also found this Card from Hasif, from 2004 with a drawing inside. 

I received this card, with a bear,a bouquet of red roses and Guess watch. And trust me, that was the first and rare occasion I got the flowers 😭. After the wedding (and 3 kids) - left only wishes and (WA). Huh. I hope this soft sides of Hasif will reawake soon. Haha.

So its confirmed : as per initial assumption, Imani is Hasif's protege. Less word, more action. Oh dear, you are just a girl kakak. There is no wrong for you to show your emotion. 

Well, I really enjoying this individual uniqueness. To understand where the kids inherit their plus (and minus) points. To better appreciate each and all of their attitude, strenghts and weaknesses. 

I just wish, I could give them the best of this world.

InsyaAllah.

INFO: Petua Guna Makanan Sebagai Ubat

Assalamualaikum...

Akhir-akhir ni, kitorang lebih banyak gunakan benda-benda tradisional kalau sakit. Contoh : kalau rasa nak demam, cepat2 minum je air kosong banyak2 atau buat lemon tinggal semalam dalam peti ais. Agak-agak batuk, madu + lada hitam atau kalau dah kronik sangat kicap manis + limau.

Bila jumpa paed pun, Dr Anthony sekarang memang jarang tak hengat bagi antibiotik. Kalau dah teruk tahap maksima, agak-agak memang kena admit, baru dia bagi ubat. Dan kitorg suka sangat dengan pendekatan ni.

Tapi ilmu kitorang memang sangat limited.

Jadi, gatal tangan kita tengok di internet apa ada. Dan alhamdulillah untuk permulaan, jumpa ni.

Saya kongsi untuk semua. Moga bermanfaat.

Klik sini : Superfoods As Medicine

Sumber : http://theheartysoul.com/

To Quit or To Stick

Assalamualaikum...

Since we meet 16 years ago, Hasif is my confidant. He listen, he gives advice when it deems neccesary and most of the time, just brave his shoulder for a return of hours - crying, nagging, scolding and cursing.

Most of the time than not, he wont be interfering, especially when it involves my working or my tales of career (if the ambition is still there 😌 ). And truthfully, these past 4 years was not and still helping and worth of telling. Surface, I hit the aim and delivered as expected, getting recognitions and all, but..

am struggling in silence. a real struggle.

and it does affecting my support system as well. And deterioriting my health. Visits to hospitals, almost a year of unpaid leave, sudden change of emotions and building wall around me ONLY to deliver the expectations and not socializing with the rest (it HURTS when you have people as your middle name).

Not a word to my management. They care. For sure. If I spilled the bean to right people. 

But I chose not. Yet.

Hence today, we went for our regular visit to bookstore. Instead of the latest Sophie Kinsella, he bought me this:

With a stern message : Please read.

Yes, I do. And read (and sleep 2 times in between and snack 3 times). And I got the message. Clearly.I will Hasif. Do the neccesary. Promise.

For you out there, try get a copy of this book. It wont direct you to make the decision, but will definitely guide you to think of your options and to weight every possible ways that may not be acceptable by norm, but may actually the only thing that you deserve and want to have in your life.

Wish me luck. And my wishes for you too. 

Kids Never Lies

Assalamualaikum...

Terima kasih Hanif. You make my day..hahahahah...Mama memang kurus.

Saya Kagum Wanita Ini - Datuk Sri Dr Wan Azizah Wan Ismail (DSWA)

Assalamualaikum...

Saya tidak suka politik. Jujur. Tapi saya tidak pernah gagal keluar mengundi, sebab itu tanggungjawab saya. Cuma siapa yang diundi, RAHSIA.

Tapi bukan pasal politik yang mahu saya kongsi. Mengenai seorang tokoh yang saya cukup kagumi peribadi. Sebagai seorang wanita. Dan isteri. Dan ibu.

Mama selalu bercerita mengenai kawan-kawan. Ada ketika, mama juga pernah bercerita mengenai tokoh ini. Tidak pernah negatif. Hanya yang baik-baik sahaja. Yang saya simpulkan, sangat kuat hati dan tabah, wajah manis dan tampak lembut di luar, tapi sebenarnya sangat gagah dan berprinsip di dalam. Dalam diam, saya mengikut cerita.

Saya melihat tokoh ini, dari kecemerlangan beliau sebagai seorang isteri. Dan banyaknya mama bila bercerita juga, adalah kekaguman mama pada tokoh ini, yang sanggup berjuang hingga habis, berdiri meyokong suami, walau segala macam dugaan datang dan pergi. Setia menggalas tanggungjawab keluarga bagi pihak suami.

Kita tidak boleh faham mereka. Sebab kita tiada dalam kumpulan itu. Memiliki suami seorang aktivis masyarakat, ayah yang masa lebih banyak untuk masyarakat, selalu dan kerap terjadi, berita terkini mengenai mereka pun hanya diketahui keluarga melalui akhbar.

Acara2 penting banyak yang harus digalas di bahu isteri. Selalunya, kelansungan kehidupan seorang aktivis atau ahli masyarakat ini banyak terletak di bahu pasangan. Bukan mereka tidak sayang pada keluarga, tapi nahu mereka juga mahu membantu orang lain. Jadi tinggal, adalah isteri tulang belakang keluarga.

Berapa ramai antara kita, yang mampu berdiri teguh begitu, di waktu ujian dan dugaan kesusahan dan keperitan datang? Dan berapa ramai yang mampu tersenyum, dan tenang, di saat diri dan keluarga dihentam.

Tak ramai.

Semasa mama ditahan di HKL, saya berkesempatan berjumpa terus tokoh ini. Duduk berbual 1/2 jam, dari mula masuk hingga ke akhir, beliau bercerita gembira, mengenang kisah2 lama bersama mama. Tinggal segala gelaran, tiada Datuk tiada Datin, hanya Wan dan Kak Ros. Mama cukup ceria, gelak ketawa. Dalam keadaan mama lupa banyak perkara di sebabkan dementia yang dialami, mama sangat ingat pada tokoh ini. Tidak ada satu pun kisah sedih yang keluar, hanya kata-kata semangat yang sangat positif untuk mama.

Hanya bila beriringan keluar dari wad, penampilan sebenar dilihat. Mata penuh kisah, mendalam, senyum bertukar riak serius, ayat disusun rapi:

Irina, cakap dengan adik beradik. Bersedialah. Mama sudah lemah betul. Kak Wan cadangkan banyakkan masa bersama mama, panggil adik adik semua duduk sekali jangan tinggalkan. 

Angguk kepala. Senyum.

Ye Kak. InsyaAllah kami dah bersedia. Terima kasih buat mama gembira.

Dan itu pertama kali saya betul-betul faham ayat mama dulu:

Wan Azizah tidak akan menangis. Dia hanya akan senyum. Belajar. Dia contoh isteri terbaik.

Terima kasih DSWA. Moga Allah balas syurga.

Series rasa nak pakai Fair & Lovely lepas ni.. tsk tsk.

INFO: Taxi in Miri

Assalamualaikum..

I prefer moving around using taxi in Miri, rather than rent a car and drive on my own for two reasons:

1 - The driver in Miri are mostly well behave on the road, normal speed limit is 60KM/hour and horn is not permissible

2 - I had an experience driving right to Native Village. Its scary. Seriously.

And for the past 2 years, I always use this one taxi. The driver (Bernard) is a young Chinese guy, very good manner, gentleman and softspoken. He will carry the bags, open and close the door (and apologize profusely if I do it myself), and text for arriving 1 or 2 minutes late. Unfortunately today, he was on trip to Brunei. So I called his friend to send me to airport. Little I know that he was also calling his friend to fetch me on behalf.

So, there were basically 2 taxis arriving at the same place. The 1st taxi was sooooo angry, and accusing me of trying to made fun. The 2nd taxi called Bernard, and I dont know what he said, its turn out the 1st taxi driver said sorry and left *fuhhhhh*

And guys, if you happen to be visiting Miri, do use this taxi driver. And experience his service yourself.

Cake ... Again

Assalamualaikum..

We need to send our car for service, and as the service centre just opposite Festival City, and the car needs at least 3 hours to complete, we walked to the shopping mall .. just to kill time.

Our definition of killing time is..... windows shopping or walking-around-burning-the-calories. No money involve.

And we are in teribble denial , that definition can still applies when we bring these two-little-monsters.

Their definition of killing time is totally opposite us - shopping-eating-running around-shopping again-and eating again.

So the 3 hours ended up exactly as their wishes. 1st stop - new shoes. 2nd stop - cake. 3rd stop - new book. 4th stop - lunch (and cake again).

Check Hanif's wrist. His new definition of being stylo. Ergh.

Honestly, I should start learning how to bake from my mother. Else, our monthly entertainment will always end up for bakery eat out.

The New (Expensive) Hobby.. sob sob

Assalamualaikum..

I know I should not be complaining, or comparing their choice of hobby with mine decade ago, but come on kids, why chose things that are soooooooooooooooooo expensive?

I have to blame Hasif on this. He is the one who introduce this stuff to our kids 2 years ago, and its continuing. Tsk tsk. Just glad he paid all, so I dont have too much of avenue to complaint, but still, a hundreds ringgit for a brick?

RM79 NP, after discount RM49. I can get a pair of new blouse. 

RM69 NP, after discount RM49. My 2nd pair of blouse.

RM150 NP. After discount RM89. Sob sob, there goes my new pants.

Total RM215 (each figurine is RM30). I cried still.

Tell me please, where can I get cheaper LEGO?

INFO : 3 Kanser Utama Wanita

Assalamualaikum..

Jujur, takut nak fikir mengenai sebarang kemungkinan penyakit yang akan mengubah hidup kita selama2 nya. Dengan gaya hidup sekarang, dan juga kepercayaan individu yang pelbagai - vaksin lah, tak nak vaksin lah, dan kualiti udara dan air dan segala perkara di sekeliling yang sudah banyak tercemar.

Dan mengikut bacaan, 2 penyakit utama yang selalu menjadi pembunuh wanita: hati dan kanser. Penyakit hati boleh dikawal dengan tidak merokok, pastikan makan yang betul supaya berat badan optimum dapat dikawal. Tapi kanser lebih susah untuk dijangka. Dan 3 penyakit kanser atau barah ini yang paling banyak menyerang : kanser payudara, kanser paru-paru dan kanser usus besar.

Tapi saya bukan orang yang ahli dalam subjek ini, izinkan saya kongsi dari 1 website yang sangat berguna :

1. Breast Cancer

Your odds: 1 in 8

Risk factors: Your risk factors for breast cancer include family history and age. If you are over 55, your breast cancer diagnosis is more likely to be invasive, and if your mother, sister or daughter has it, your risk is doubled.

Lack of exercise and a high-fat diet are contributing factors to a breast cancer diagnosis, as is drinking heavily and a lack of exercise. Taking birth control pills increases your risk factor, as does not have a pregnancy or having your first pregnancy after thirty.

Screening: Regular breast self-exams are the first step in monitoring any lumps or changes in size or shape in the breast or armpit. Doctors and nurses can offer clinical breast exams, but by the age of forty, you should be talking to your doctor about how often you should be scheduling mammograms.

After fifty you should have a mammogram every two years. Being aware of your body and making sure to address changes or lumps in your breast with your primary care physician is imperative to catching this cancer early and increasing your chances of survival.

2. Lung and Bronchus Cancer

Your odds: 1 in 16

Risk factors: 80% of lung cancers in women could be avoided by simply not smoking. Smoking is the main risk factor for lung and bronchus cancers; smokers can be up to 20 times more likely to get lung cancer than nonsmokers.Other risk factors include an unhealthy diet and lack of exercise and exposure to second-hand smoke, radon gas, arsenic, tar, and soot.

Screening: If you are aged 55-80, currently smoke or have smoked in the past fifteen years, annual lung cancer screenings are recommended. The only recommended screening available for lung cancer is a low-dose computed tomography, which uses low doses of radiation to take pictures of the lungs.

3. Colon and Rectal Cancer

Your odds: 1 in 19

Risk factors: Age is a significant risk factor for these cancers; more than ninety percent of them occur in people over the age of fifty. Inactivity, smoking, heavy drinking, a high-fat diet and a family history of bowel diseases are also contributing factors. 

Screening: It can take ten to fifteen years for cancer cells to grow in the colon, so regular screenings can allow for removal of abnormal cells before there is an issue. Colonoscopies are the preferred screening method for colon, and rectal cancers and regular screening should begin by age fifty. Of course, if you are at higher risk, you should begin screening earlier.

Sumber : Mesothelioma.com.

The Choice is Always Yours

Assalamualaikum..

When I first joined the company, I had the privilege of handling the account for an International operations. Learnt their not-so-attractive attitude and began to appreciate the differences. Then in my 2nd year, been transfered to Audit's team, which I had to travel around, attending operations of the company worldwide.

It was really interesting and fascinating. Imagine : travelling the globe in Business Class, attended as the Very Important Person *rolling eyes* , killing time in Business Lounge, mingle around with the top spot of people, staying in 5 stars hotel, with a driver to drive you around and the list continues.

It took me only 5 trips to felt worn out. Not that I complaining the hours spent for work,its the same whether you are in the head office or not , its still 10++ hours spent.

Its more on the sacrifice that my family had to endure. Minimum of 2 weeks abroad , with a space of 1 week locally then on the move again. Keeping update of my kid via Skype, saying Good Morning and Good Night thru a phone call. Missed important events , birthdays, family gatherings, friends catching up. My luck is:  I have a very good supporting system, a husband who really understand and 3 pairs of parents and sibling who will always up on the 1st ringing. This really help me to survive the next 2 years of THAT life.

The wake up call when Imani, then 2 years old, chose to had her dinner with the maid, rather than me, in one casual family dinner. It's hurting. And sucks. Really.

So mothers, I always belief we have the choice to decide from. If you are the ordinary-surviving-people on this world, you got to choose wisely. You still have to work to provide the best for your kids (everything is money and good things most of the time are pricey) and remember by doing this you might put your kid on your expense, or else if you choose to be with your kids 100%, not tide up with the 8-5 working-your-ass for others clock, then either you have your own job that earn the good money, or be satisfied with moderation with whatever bring in by your spouse. 

And the choices are always there. Please do not compare yourself with others, stop complaining and have less expectation. 

You will survive dearly.

Still waiting for the flight to arrive. A not so frequent travel I can do. The rest, I rather stay with Hasif and the kids. 

Playing hide-and-seek with MAS

Assalamualaikum...

I have this love-hate relationship with airlines. Either the plane will choose to leave me behind, or my luggages choose to dissapear or simply the airlines changed their flite time-which-are-not-so-accomodating-for-me *read between the line please*  haha.

And what happens today, are just the normal series of event. Done with meetings, check my flite time, and tadaaaaaaaa....instead of 6.30PM today, I had stupidly chose 6.30AM tomorrow. I dont mind staying back for one night, thing is I have a scheduled-VVIP-meeting tomorrow at 8AM. 

So..again, the routine. Calling up to Airline..rushing back to hotel..and reach 3 hours earlier at the airport to change the ticket.

And am again, just glad I fly with Malaysia Airlines (MAS). I flew with several airlines before, in first class, business and also economy, and frankly, the service from MAS is still the best. 

Why?

- I don't have to worry AT ALL should there is any incidence like this.

- If I missed the flite, charges is RM106 to catch the later flight (based on availability) and no additional pay for price differences.

- If I want to catch the earlier flite, charges is RM53 at the MAS office or RM106 thru online call to customer service.

- Should I wish to travel for shopping, extra luggage is not a nightmare. RM30kg is easily mine for economy and I still can have a hand carry. I remembered flying with 1 low fees carrier, and got charged for extra size of bag eventhough its weight less than the permissible limit. And at the drop bag counter, an extra of 1 - 5 kgs, normally MAS's staff will give an exception, but not for that low fees carrier.

- When my luggage MIA in Mozambique, MAS took the effort to locate eventhough the responsible party should be South Africa Airlines - the connecting flite. And they compensated me with extra Enrich miles when the effort is unsuccessfull (I still cried over the limited edition Sophie Kinsella set).

Ok. Should stop. Else, I will have to write each of the incidence for the past 20 years of my life. Haha.

Still, I could not stop laughing when I received this for the receipt.

MAS. Please. Invest on something more uptodate machine please. I used this when I joined my first company and that was a decade before. And you should consider the paper usage ok? HAHHAAH

Anak : Bantu Mereka Membuat Pilihan

Assalamualaikum...

Haritu kami hantar Shamil mendaftar di MRSM. Seronok (dan jeles). Seronok sebab akhirnya dapat menjejakkan kaki ke tempat yang berprestij ini. Sedih sebab terkenang kesah lama.

Hasif marah kalau mengungkit lagi, katanya seperti tidak bersyukur aturan Allah dan hikmah yang ada. Tapi saya nak berkongsi juga, moga jadi panduan untuk semua ibubapa.

Keputusan UPSR saya alhamdulillah bagus. Dapat pula Tokoh Murid, dan menang Anugerah Pelajar Contoh Daerah pada masa itu. Saya hanya budak kampung. Sekolah tepi hutan belantara.

Tunggu punya tunggu, kawan2 lain dah masuk MRSM, masuk SBP. Saya masih tak dapat apa2. Kecewa memang tak ingat. Rasanya borang SBP dah isi. Seingatnya borang MRSM juga sudah dihantar. Erm....

Akhirnya, bila tak dapat juga, abah suruh masuk Sekolah Menengah berdekatan rumah. Naik bas 15 minit sampai. 

Hari kedua mendaftar sekolah, balik rumah kemas2 bilik abah. Terjumpalah surat2 tawaran. Ada dari MRSM, dapat juga dari KYS, dan CBN.

Terkejut. Dan kecewa masa tu. Sangat.

Jadi, saya bawa surat2 tawaran , jumpa abah dan tanya :

Kenapa Abah sorok dari adik? 

Abah jawab: ala...kalau masuk asrama nanti kan susah. Kena bangun awal, kena duduk jauh dari abah. Nanti abah tak ada kawan.

O * O

   __

It's hurtful. Really. From that point onwards, I dont give a damn of my schooling and follow whatever predetermined for me. I had transfered from 1 SMK to another SMKA ; following abah's order. And scoring so and so in the exams. Telling you the truth, I HATE my secondary sooooo much, I generally had this selective memories of what have had happening then.

Perhaps, Allah still loves me. Though giving a darn attention at school, my scores are still acceptable. Then, accepted in UIA (still my brother's order and HIS selection of university), I did lots of external activities, a trainer for 1 NGO, asssitance lecturer and part timer for PHD research. Handfull kan.

Only during my 3rd sem, I've started focusing on my study, for 1 and only reason : I want to have the Dean's List Cert for keeping. Since then, I manage to collect the cert, for each and every semester towards my final.

And the rest are history.

Sometimes I do wonder, should the situation differs, what would I be?

And experiencing this myself, my promise to the kids, the decisions are always them to take on. I will just provide the avenue, the understanding on each topic and them alone to make the final say.

Thats why, from the early days, we let them to make the decision, with our supervision for sure. As smallest thing where to eat, or what to wear. To the bigger decision which school to enroll.

And my humble suggestion to parents as well, do not dictate your kids, to your own dream. Let them explore, experience and they will fly further. InsyaAllah.

Good luck.

INFO: Kenapa Wajib Memuliakan Ibu Mertua

Assalamualaikum..

Baru selesai solat Subuh, sedang lipat-lipat sejadah, ada seorang makcik menyapa..

Makcik : Anak ni kerja sini kah?

Saya : Tak makcik. Saya jaga mak mertua.

Makcik : Ha..mertua? La...kenapa..terpaksa ke?

*deng*

Tidak tahu kenapa. Tapi soalan2 ini agak kerap disapa kebelakangan ini dan tak tipu, annoying.

Kenapa? Tidak bolehkah seorang menantu menjaga mertuanya? Kenapa harus ada skeptikal mengenai perkara ini? 

Nauzubillah. Simpati. Jauhi saya dan keluarga dari sifat2 begini.

Mari lihat keluarga kami. Mari singgah dan ziarah keluarga mentua saya. Anak2 dan menantu silih berganti menjaga siang dan malam. Tidak ada yang berganjak meninggalkan sisi mama. 2 biras saya sedang mengambil cuti belajar menyiapkan PHD, anak2 masih sekolah, selepas siap keperluan anak2 dan suami, masing2 berkejar ke hospital atau rumah sebelum ini, menyiapkan keperluan mama. 2 adik ipar saya belum berkerja. Siang malam sebelum ini mereka yang menyiapkan, tidur dan jaga untuk mama. Ini belum kira anak2 lelaki. Kalaulah hospital ini membenarkan lelaki menjaga dalam wad wanita, insyaAllah mereka akan menghulur bantuan juga.

Allah. Bukan saya mendabik dada atau mahu bercakap bangga. Saya mahu beritahu, buangkan prasangka negatif tidak membangun itu. Dan jangan kerana stigma yang ada, membuatkan orang lain berasa tidak selesa.

Pendapat masing2 juga berbeza. Ironinya, apabila saya memohon cuti berasbab menjaga mentua, bos (1) berbeza dengan bos (2). 

Boss 1 :

Go ahead Irina. Family first. And no laptop please this round. I know you would still be working eventhough you have taken leave.

Boss 2 :

Ok. Anak2 lain?

***nangis***

Jujur, boss 1 itu bukan Muslim. 

Dan dari panjang lebar menerangkan, saya kongsikan sahaja gambar ini di WA.

Jika hadith di atas dhaif: niat saya tetap 1 je. Mahu didik anak2 saya, Moga apabila masa saya tiba kelak, anak2 saya faham kewajipan mereka terhadap ibubapa dan ibubapa mertua.

Itu sahaja. 

Duhai Hati ,, Bertabahlah

Assalamualaikum..

Saya sudah melalui beberapa kehilangan. Di hadapan mata, bersedia atau tiba-tiba. Kesemuanya perit. Tiada pengecualian.

Bila kesihatan mama semakin merosot semenjak dua ini, kami cuba aturkan masa dan situasi sebaik mungkin. Termasuk mengajar hati untuk lebih bersedia dengan segala kemungkinan. 

Saya jarang sungguh bercakap dengan Hasif mengenai hal ini, maksudnya hal yang benar-benar perlu dihadapi kalau kehilangan itu terjadi. Satu: sebab saya mahu memberi ruang Hasif sebagai anak melalui sendiri dan bertindak sebaiknya. Dua: saya tidak mahu menangis depan Hasif - jika tidak dia akan lebih susah hati.

Tapi, bila melihat Hasif begini. Tak bersuara tapi mata penuh cerita. Hati benar-benar lumpuh. Sedih. Dan bangga. Bercampur.

Sedih.. sebab tahu kesedihan yang cuba disimpan kemas-kemas.

Bangga..sebab tahu suami ini yang terbaik, yang sepanjang sihatnya mama, sentiasa mendahulukan mama, memuliakan mama, dan tidak pernah berhenti berfikir dan berusaha untuk menjadi anak yang lebih baik untuk mama.

Trust me Hasif, you did your part brilliantly. Just be strong ok.

Love you,

Irina

2.01 AM, 23 Feb 2017

4B, Hospital Putrajaya